Cthulhu wants you asleep. TarMucks keeps you awake.
Cthulhu-themed coffee, cups, comics, and more inside!
Prices include shipping in the US.
Latest Updates from Our Project:
TarMucks Theme Song Video!
2 months ago
– Mon, Feb 19, 2024 at 01:19:05 PM
Well howdy there, TarMucks fam!
We wanted to share the new visualizer video we made for the TarMucks Theme Song!
The theme song for the TarMucks Java was composed & performed by David Gueringer of Next Arc Studios and features Jayel Draco as 20's Radio Guy, Kris Cooper as Cthulhu, and background vocals from Kyara Malone.
Click below to watch the video!
Check out the lyrics below as you listen!
---
(Verse)
Once upon a time, it was long ago The great old ones, they would run the show And we, were getting warier, The crankier the scarier they got
Came up with a plot to form a barrier Deprive of energy, the old ones drained So they founded the sect to maintain 666 in the dream world remained
tuthulu wouldn’t be outsmarted, Put a thought in our brain
(Ctuthulu Sings)
While you’re sleeping in your mind I will sing this lullaby My demands are not so evil Just go out and make more people
(Verse Cont.)
That was just what they did On the very next morning when they got outta bed Everybody and they momma started having a kid As they were born and they slept then Ctuthulu was fed
The Old ones waking up, recharging the crew The sect needed a plot, what were they to do? They pushed a peppy powered got ‘em all to snort em It cures burping, farting, diarrhea and boredom
(Clarinet Solo and Radio Guy)
Cocooooa Pep some in your step when you’re on the move Oh noooo It works but’s terrifically bad for you
It was canned, and was banned They needed a new plan The coffee that they offered at the time was too bland
It was a dud, sect couldn’t hold the flood In the South Pacific Ctuthulu awakened again
(Verse Cont.)
As noted by the xenophobic Lovecraft, The old ones' ravaging was soon to be a blood bath One last chance, so the sect made a mixture Brewing they concocted the most powerful elixir
That’s the story of Tarmucks Coffee Drink it every day to keep the old one off me So pour me a grande of frappalappachino Feeling like I’m gonna play a solo on the theme song
(Clarinet Solo)
(Chorus)
Help save the world from dismay You gotta go drink Tarmucks everyday We can keep those old ones at bay We just gotta drink Tarmucks everyday
---
Did you know we're running a campaign for our comic book series PACK, right now?
In that series, the stray dogs—and stgray man—who fight for justice on the streets of Brooklyn visit TarMucks coffee shops in every single issue!
So, we've brought TarMucks coffee, cups, comics, and merch back for PACK backers!
PACK backers can add TarMucks items on to their orders at checkout.
So, if you love dogs…and justice…and you want to re-up on your TarMucks stash…
In the fantastical realm of Rendaraia, six ancient civilizations have maintained peace and prosperity for untold eons. Each of these Great Nations is a hub of magic, science, arts, manufacturing, seafaring, or exploration.
But then, each of those Great Nations is destroyed, one by one, at the hands of an unknown enemy far more powerful than any imagined in Rendaraia before these dark times.
Who is responsible for this death and destruction?
From a cave in a seaside refugee camp, the aging scholar Jan'Ka'Zian tries to write and illustrate all he remembers of the Great Nations before he, too, meets whatever fate befell his home, his husband, and everything he once held dear.
With the great cities destroyed, the smaller tribes scattered, and few survivors, Jan'Ka'Zian writes from the tenuous safety of a refugee camp by the shore, trying to preserve his memories and knowledge in text and illustrations before his time runs out…
⏳Your Time Is Running Out!⏳
Written from Jan'Ka'Zian's point of view and fully illustrated in high fantasy style by Jayel Draco, TheGreatNationsofRendaraia was Oneshi Press's first book ever!
But our first edition has sold out!
Now, we're releasing the fully remastered second edition, with updated art, refurbished text, a stunning new cover, and an all-new foreword by Ringo Award–nominated cartoonist and professor Ryan Claytor.
The campaign to fund this second edition ends tonight, August 31!
Don't miss this chance to preorder the stunning new edition of this gorgeous fantasy book!
45 Hours Left for an Epic Adventure!
about 1 year ago
– Tue, Mar 14, 2023 at 09:05:09 PM
Hi there, TarMucks fan!
We're writing to let you know that there's only 45 hours remaining in the campaign for our next epic adventure!
Children of Gaia: Fantasy Game, Comic, & Coloring Book!
The Children of Gaia (COG) series of stories across media is inviting you to immerse yourself fully with three new experiences inside this richly imagined sci-fi/fantasy universe!
COG: The Mag Tower - 12-pageillustrated TTRPG zine
COG: Diplomacy - 12-pageshort comic
COG:Mitheran Fauna - 28-pagecoloring book
COG:Mage Stones - custom dice
Each item tells an important story within our Children of Gaia sci-fi/fantasy universe, and lets you immerse yourself more deeply!
As a fan of epic fiction from other realms, we know it's a great fit for you.
Visit the campaign now to back before it ends in less than 48 hours!
We Just Launched a Heckin' Sweet Campaign!
about 1 year ago
– Thu, Feb 16, 2023 at 02:26:25 PM
Hi, TarMucks fam!
As a backer of our TarMucks campaign, we can tell you probably love two things:
High quality everything
Epic adventures
And that means that the campaign we just launched is definitely for you!
Children of Gaia: The Mag Tower Fantasy TTRPG!
This campaign will fund Oneshi Press's first-ever foray into tabletop game play, and it features a slew of amazing rewards that will immerse you in the sci-fi/fantasy epic of Children of Gaia!
Including…
Our first-ever, one-off table-top game, set in the sci-fi fantasy universe of Children of Gaia,
A 28-page coloring book of magical creatures in the world of the game, illustrated by Shadowind
A 12-page short comic featuring deep backstory behind the game written and illustrated by Chris Covelli, colored by Lacerta, and lettered by Cardinal Rae!
An interactive, digital game-play board for 2-12 players, made by David Gueringer
Stunning six-sided dice custom made to represent the Mage Stones in the game by Flute's Creations
You can also peruse our early-bird tier, oodles of add-ons like art, books, music, and more.
Your early pledge helps us have a strong start to our campaign…
We Fixed It!
about 1 year ago
– Sun, Feb 12, 2023 at 04:50:37 PM
Hey there, TarMucks fam!
A while back, we invited you to leave a review on your TarMucks products on our online store
What we didn't know was that, the last time we updated our store, a glitch in the Matrix made it moredifficult to leave a review!
Dagnabbit! We wanted it to be easy!
Fortunately, though, we caught the glitch, and we fixed it!
That means it's now super-easy to review your TarMucks cup, coffee, comic, pin, and more!
So, let's try this again…
Leave a Review
We'd love to hear what you think of your rewards, and there's no better place to drop a photo and a few thoughts than on the product page for the item on the Oneshi Press store!
Your reviews are super-duper ultra-mega helpful. They…
Help other folks decide if they want to buy
Boost our SEO, so more people can find our TarMucks merch
Win-win!
We love reviews, so let us know when you leave one! We'd be happy to share an exclusive, backers-only coupon code with you, to take a little off the top of your next purchase from our store!
Thanks so much for being here!
—Your friends at Oneshi press, Jayel & Lynsey
Ready for our next launch?
It's happening this Thursday! And you're invited to join us for our LIVE launch party!
